Overcoming a Rough Patch in Life: A Step-by-Step Plan from a Psychologist

Troubles often come in clusters. Accidents, job loss, relationship issues, illness... It leaves you wondering, "Where did I go wrong to end up in this streak of bad luck?" A series of crises in quick succession is often dubbed a "black streak." While this term doesn't exist in empirical psychology, it's hard to deny the lived experience of feeling like everything is going wrong. Indeed, multiple negative events might not just be coincidences; there can be psychological factors at play.

Causes of a Rough Patch in Life

Some attribute rough patches to fate teaching us a lesson. Setting aside the scientific merit of this idea, there are genuine psychological reasons behind a streak of bad luck. Let's explore a few.

Tunnel Vision

This cognitive distortion leads people to notice only certain facts while ignoring anything that contradicts them. Tunnel vision is tied to perception, where we see only what we focus on. For example, if you buy a new car, you might start noticing more cars of the same make and color. This is because your attention is attuned to relevant information. Similarly, after a distressing event, someone might become more sensitive to negative information, noticing more problems in other life areas due to a somber mood.

We also tend to notice what aligns with our expectations. If the outlook is grim, even positive events might go unnoticed, while negative ones elicit strong reactions: "I knew it!"

Lack of Activity and Social Isolation

In crisis, intuition can mislead us. For instance, during grief (like after a job loss), it might feel right to shut the world out and be alone for a while. Short-term isolation can help, but prolonged withdrawal robs us of positive interactions and activities. Avoiding social engagements and staying indoors deprives us of fresh air and can harm both physical and mental health by blocking the production of "natural antidepressants," endorphins, which reduce stress and improve mood.

Impulsivity in Stressful Situations

Stress makes deliberate action difficult, especially when it builds over months or years until it explodes. In such scenarios, all aspects of life can crumble like a house of cards. For example, work stress might lead to snapping at a partner, straining personal relationships, and causing emotional outbursts that result in accidents.

Depression

Saying "I'm going through a rough patch" can sometimes be based on real events but often stems from subjective feelings. Fatigue, apathy, sadness, and loss of interest in hobbies can signal depression, coloring everything negatively. Depression can emerge from prolonged stress or grief, worsening any situation and extending a single episode into a prolonged rough patch.

How to Navigate a Rough Patch
Sad events and failures are part of life, especially if you've lived long enough. Sometimes, processing events like divorce, accidents, or theft takes time. This doesn't mean we're helpless; several strategies can help navigate crises.

Step 1: Hit the Brakes

Problems feel more acute when we're exhausted. In a storm, it's best to wait it out. Don’t blame yourself for stepping back from non-essential activities. Maintain your daily routine without overexerting yourself. If you're used to a fast-paced life, you can return to it once the troubles pass. Balance is key; ensure you're eating well, moving enough, and getting proper rest.

Step 2: Reflect

Look back at what happened. What was the worst part? What did you learn? How could you better prepare for the future? We're not trying to turn bad into good, dismiss negative thoughts, or invalidate feelings. Instead, focus on real lessons. Job loss might start a new professional chapter. Though initially hard to see, navigating difficulties brings new self-knowledge and growth. Use past experiences. How did you handle previous rough patches? What helped or worsened the situation?

Step 3: Find Your Path

Change is inevitable. We can rage against it, but many things change without our control. This doesn't mean giving up. Focus on what you can control. Make two lists: one of uncontrollable factors to release worry about, and another of controllable factors. For example, you can't control the job market, but you can decide how much effort to put into job hunting, which jobs to apply for, and how to improve your skills. Seek support. During tough times, we might want to isolate or avoid burdening others. But support eases rough patches. Help can come from direct assistance or just a friendly chat. Even if they can't solve the problem, a listening ear without judgment can make a difference.

Remember, rough patches don't last forever. Don't criticize yourself for how you cope. Self-care and kindness are crucial. At the very least, facing a rough patch shows resilience and perseverance. That alone is significant.